Goalkeeper

I should probably blog about the vegan lasagna I made last night or my new apron that I wore while baking lasagna (both events being a first for me), but my mood today just isn't up for it. Maybe it was all that Wilco and Elliot Smith I used to get me through the first day back from vacation that put me in such a 'tut tut' mood.

To put it pretty simply, I feel deflated. Not in any bad way. I'm just kind of slow and lackluster today. A lot has to do with being on the other side of Paradise as it were. Since about January I had been anticipating this trip back home and down to the Caribbean. I was exercising for it, eating right for it, working hard on my dissertation for it, and generally building it up as this giant end goal. Now it is over I am kind of just feeling over as well.

I think I also have some homesickness in the mix as well. In the four years I have been out here, I've never really 'felt' the distance. But now I'm completely aware of my three-hours behind, five-hour flight away status. When I eat breakfast, my mom is eating lunch. When I eat dinner, the majority of my friends and family are already asleep. And while I'm sleeping they are already many hours into their day. Fastmiso has been out here for almost ten years and I'm beginning to marvel at how he does it. Not that I'm going back to the ATL anytime soon, but just being in the same time zone as the people I care about is sounding pretty good.

Yesterday morning I woke up in such a state of post-vacation bewilderment that I convinced fastmiso to take me to the Santa Cruz boardwalk so I could ride a roller coaster. The idea of unpacking and answering emails and grocery shopping seemed so incredibly beyond my mental capacity at 9 on a Sunday morning that I needed an immediate insta-vacation. So we drove down, rode the fantastic wooden coaster they have on the Boardwalk, and played some skeeball to win cheap toys for the cats to play with.

But now I can move on to new goals...like mastering a vegan cookie or keeping the bed made.