the name game

I always just assumed I would take my husband's last name. I never found it sexist, demeaning, or patriarchal that you took the name of the man you married. If anything, I was looking forward to it given my own last name. In fact, I think I intentionally gravitated towards boys with simple last names, Murphy, Price, Wilson, in the hopes of never having to spell my last name again. It all seemed so exciting, getting a new name halfway through life.

But now here I am, a mere six months away from the big day and the smaller issues surrounding the name change are starting to make my mind wander. For example, do I get a new email address? I'm guessing I stick with the same email address, especially since I'm planning on keeping my name 'professionally' (which then requires actually having a profession, and that, my friends, is a whole separate entry), but at some point I'll have to change it, right? Or not?

I always thought taking the mister's name made life simpler, and this seemed all the more true after addressing envelopes for our save the date cards. It was so hard to tell of our married friends who was Mr. and Mrs. who was Mr. and Ms. and who went on which line depending on their situation. My parents' friends were super easy: Mr. and Mrs. Fancy Pants. Done and done.

But for how long do I live a double name double life? I'm guessing my maiden name goes on my diploma but my married name goes on the passport? My students call me Dr. Maiden Name and my dentist calls me Mrs. Married Name? In some ways it sounds nice - keeping my worlds separate and feeling like my career is all mine and my home life is a partnership with the mister. But it also sounds potentially identity-crisis inducing.

My other minor marriage fear is that I am still not entirely clear on how to pronounce my future last name. Not only is it a Greek name, but even within the miso's own family there are alternate pronunciations and even spellings. What is a girl to do? Maybe we can just become name renegades, dub ourselves the Smiths come August, and go merrily on our way, both with new names.